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Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Poem, a Picture, a Teddy Bear and a Pin

Today I saw Toesock's for the last time. Her body was at the funeral home before being cremated as she wished. She wanted no service of any kind or public viewing but they gave Rhonda, John and me  private time with her. I had dressed earlier this morning in our AT hiking atttire, complete with our trademark toesocks and sandals and walked to the funeral home to arrive an hour early. She would have loved that I walked there. I wanted to spend the most time with her as possible. I was let into the private room and there was Toesocks looking as beautiful as ever. She looked like she was just sleeping peacefully and had on her hiking clothes as well. I do not have words to describe how I felt as all the emotions of her death, together with the absolute relief of knowing she would no longer be facing any more treatments or sufferings, and all the memories of our great adventures and love went back and forth through my head and heart. She has been my entire world! In her right hand she was clutching four yellow roses at her chest. Her other arm was at her side and the hand looked relaxed with the fingers slightly pointing ahead as if to say, "onward" and reminded me of how she balanced her trekking poles lightly there when not needed walking on a level trail. I knew she was safely in heaven with a healthy body again, stalking high lonesome trails, climbing majestic peaks and paddling her kayak through pristene waters. I placed in her shirt pocket her favorite picture of us, Mikey's tiny pink cancer awareness teddy bear that she carried on her backpack, my sister Carol's alzheimers awarenes pin she also carried on her pack, a poem she wrote to me years ago that I just found agan this morning and a note from me. Saying a final goodbye to my best friend, deepest truest love of my life and whole world was breaking my heart! Toesocks you changed my life and taught me how to really live.  I will never forget any moment we shared nor will my love for you ever fade away!!     "AAFE+10"

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